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| | | | WASHINGTON—Overturning a law that has been in place for 24 years, Congress approved a temporary repeal of the Minimum Drinking Age Act Wednesday upon learning that Benjamin Harrison High School student Jenny Larsen is celebrating her 17th birthday with an unsupervised party at which attendees are expecting to consume alcohol.
H.R. 874, more commonly known as the Jenny's Turning 17!!! Bill, will go into effect Friday, Sept. 19, 2008, as soon as Jenny's parents leave for their weekend trip to Vermont. Until the bill expires on Sunday afternoon, it will be legal for any American aged 17 or older—or 16 if they have a birthday coming up—to consume alcohol within the confines of 128 Longfellow Rd.
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"Our system of laws is not inflexible, and at times it is necessary to make adjustments to our federal statutes to more adequately serve the interests of the American people," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "It is therefore the Senate's opinion that Jenny only turns 17 once, and that she deserves to have a party that is both totally awesome and permitted under United States statutory law."
"Furthermore, Brad is going to be there, and it is our understanding that Jenny really, really likes Brad," Sen. Reid added.
Reid went on to defend a number of the bill's addenda, including a provision authorizing Paul Woodard, 17, to pick up the keg, and $25.74 in federal funding to purchase a bottle of Jenny's favorite alcoholic beverage, vanilla Absolut. Congress also approved a special task force to distribute plastic red cups to attendees at the door.
A proposed rider by Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN) to secure invites for himself and two of his friends was defeated in committee.
"Although some will question the constitutionality of this law, there is nothing in the Constitution that forbids the United States government from saving what everyone agrees would otherwise be a totally lame party by ensuring the abundant—and legal—presence of alcohol," Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said. "Especially taking into consideration the fact that everyone is going to be there. Everyone."
According to Schumer, the bill contains clear wording that will keep the party from getting "out of hand." Section 211 of the legislation, titled "Regulations," states that "(a) those who imbibe an excess of alcohol will be required by law to stay overnight, so as not to drive, and to offer assistance in collecting the empty beer cans and mopping the kitchen floor the next morning, (b) Jenny's parents' bedroom is strictly off-limits, and entrance therein will result in up to 30 years in federal prison, and (c) the carrying out of activities deemed 'stupid' is prohibited, viz. climbing up onto the roof, falling off the roof, etc." There is also a proviso that prevents Trish from getting wasted on rum again and trying to make out with Andy.
The House has earmarked $54 million in case someone breaks Jenny's mother's vase and it needs to be replaced by the next morning.
Although the bill was passed by a wide margin in both the House and Senate, it has received criticism from some members of Congress, who call the law "favoritist" and "totally unfair." Those in opposition claim that it is too dangerous to allow minors to consume alcohol in an unsupervised setting; that they were not allowed to drink until they turned 21 and the same should hold true for everyone else; and that the only reason the bill passed is because Jenny is friends with Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT).
Most legislators, however, voiced their full support of the bill.
"These children are quite popular, and they should be treated as such in the eyes of the law," Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) said. "Plus, they're going to drink anyway, so we might as well make it legal."
"Come on!" Boxer added. "It's Jenny's B-day!"
President Bush officially signed the Jenny's Turning 17!!! Bill into law Wednesday, making it the first self-expiring law to be passed in the U.S. since the Controlled Substances Waiver For Theaters Showing Pink Floyd's The Wall Act of 1982.
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| | | | This is a wind-up right? You're not saying money has been spent passing a bill for a buch of kids to drink for the one night, at the one house?
It's got to be a joke 'l'
Bring on the Trumpets!!! Bring on the Trumpets!!! |
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| | | | DaisyU.
Of course it's a joke. Zanny has been getting his news from The Onion this morning LOL
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/congress_lowers_drinking_age_to_17 |
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| | | | Thank gods for that 'l'
Bring on the Trumpets!!! Bring on the Trumpets!!! |
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| | | | | aaaaaaaaaaah duh daisy this was posted in the happy hour forum *g* |
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| | | | while we sit here in the midst of a cash crunch in the banking industry....and congress is trying to figure out where to find money....
I wonder how many of us know how many departments and bureaucratic agencies exist in this "LIMITED FEDERAL GOVT." the founding fathers set up...
Executive Branch
Executive Offices
White House Offices
The President of the United States
Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff
Deputy Assistant to the President and Secretary to the Cabinet
Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to the Vice President
Assistant to the President for Legislative Affairs
Assistant to the President for Economic Policy
...and Director of the National Economic Council
Assistant to the President for Presidential Personnel
...and Deputy to the Chief of Staff
Assistant to the President and White House Press Secretary
Assistant to the President and Staff Secretary
Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy
Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs
Assistants to the President and Deputy Chiefs of Staff
Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor
Counsel to the President (White House Counsel)
Senior Advisor to the President
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Cabinet Secretary
Deputy Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to the First Lady
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Counsel to the President
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy to the Counselor, Communications
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director,
...Faith-Based and Community Initiatives
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Director of Legislative Affairs
Deputy Assistant to the President for Economic Policy
...and Deputy Director, National Economic Council
Deputy Assistant to the President for International Economic Affairs
...and Deputy National Security Advisor
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Senior Adviser
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Staff Secretary
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Advance
Deputy Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director,
...Office of Intergovernmental Affairs
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Global Communications
Deputy Assistant to the President for Management, Administration,
...and Oval Office Operations
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Political Affairs
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Public Liaison
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Scheduling
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Speechwriting
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director,
...Office of Strategic Initiatives
Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of
...the White House Military Office
Deputy Assistant to the President for Legislative Affairs (House)
Deputy Assistant to the President for Legislative Affairs (Senate)
Deputy Assistant to the President and Principal Deputy Press Secretary
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Press Secretary
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director of Advance
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director
...of Communications for Planning
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director of Political Affairs
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director
...of Communications for Production
Special Assistants to the President and Deputy Directors
...of Public Liaison for Presidential Personnel (2)
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director of Speechwriting
Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Director of Strategic Initiatives
Special Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Correspondence
Special Assistant to the President for White House Management and Administration
Special Assistant to the President for Intergovernmental Affairs
Special Assistants to the President for Legislative Affairs (House) (5)
Special Assistants to the President for Legislative Affairs (Senate) (4)
Deputy Assistant to the President and Assistant to the Senior Advisor
Special Assistant to the President and Senior Speechwriter to the President
Special Assistant to the President and White House Social Secretary
Special Assistants to the President and Associate Directors
...for Presidential Personnel
Special Assistant to the President and Associate Counsel to the President
Associate Counsels to the President (9)
Office of Administration
Special Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of Administration
Chief Operations Officer
Director for Equal Employment Opportunity
Director for Security
Director, Management Controls and Communication
General Counsel
Chief Financial Officer
Chief Information Officer
White House Fellows
White House Commission on Remembrance
Office of National Drug Control Policy
Director of National Drug Control Policy
Chief of Staff
Executive Secretary
Deputy Director
Deputy Director for Demand Reduction
Deputy Director for State and Local Affairs
Deputy Director for Supply Reduction
Associate Director, Planning and Budget
Associate Director, Legislative Affairs
Associate Director, Management and Administration
Communications Director
General Counsel
Director, Counter-Drug Technology Assessment Center
Associate Director, Intelligence
Associate Director, National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign
Director, High-Intensity Drug Trafficking Areas Program
Administrator, Drug-Free Communities Support Program
Council of Economic Advisers
Chairman
Members (2)
Chief of Staff
Council on Environmental Quality
Chairman
Chief of Staff
Associate Director for Congressional Affairs
Associate Director for Public Affairs
Associate Director for Agriculture, Public Lands and Coastal Affairs
General Counsel
Deputy General Counsel
Associate Director for NEPA Oversight
Associate Director for Sustainable Development
Associate Director for Natural Resources
Associate Director for Environmental Policy
Associate Director for Global Environmental Affairs
Associate Director for Toxics and Environmental Protection
Office of Policy Development
Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy
Deputy Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy
Special Assistants to the President for Domestic Policy (5)
National Economic Council
Assistant to the President for Economic Policy
...and Director of the National Economic Council
Deputy Assistant to the President and Deputy Director
...of the National Economic Council
Special Assistants to the President for Economic Policy (5)
Domestic Policy Council
National Security Council
Members
The President
The Vice President
The Secretary of State
The Secretary of Defense
Statutory Advisers
Director of Central Intelligence
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff
Standing Participants
The Secretary of the Treasury
U.S. Representative to the United Nations
Chief of Staff to the President
Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs
Assistant to the President for Economic Policy
Officials
Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs
...and Deputy National Security Adviser
Executive Secretary
Office of Faith-Based & Community Initiatives
Office of National AIDS Policy
Office of Science and Technology Policy
Director
Associate Director for Science
Associate Director for Technology
Executive Secretary for the National Science and Technology Council
Executive Director for the President's Committee
...of Advisors on Science and Technology
President's Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board
White House Military Office
Presidential Airlift Group
White House Medical Unit
Camp David
Marine Helicopter Squadron One
Presidential Food Service
White House Transportation Agency
Office of Management and Budget
Director
Deputy Director
Deputy Director for Management
Executive Associate Director
Administrator, Office of Federal Procurement Policy
Administrator, Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs
Assistant Director for Administration
Assistant Director for Budget
Assistant Director for Legislative Reference
Associate Director for Communications
Associate Director for Economic Policy
Associate Director for Human Resource Programs
Associate Director for General Government Programs
Associate Director for Information Technology and E-Government
Associate Director for Legislative Affairs
Associate Director for National Security Programs
Associate Director for Natural Resource Programs
Controller, Office of Federal Financial Management
General Counsel
President's Council on Integrity and Efficiency
Office of the United States Trade Representative
United States Trade Representative
Deputy U.S. Trade Representatives (Washington) (2)
Deputy U.S. Trade Representative (Geneva)
Special Textile Negotiator
General Counsel
Chief Agricultural Negotiator
Associate U.S. Trade Representative
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Administration
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Agricultural Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Southeast Asia, Pacific,
...and APEC Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Congressional Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Economic Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Environment and Natural Resources
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Europe and the Mediterranean
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Industry, Market Access
...and Telecommunications
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Intergovernmental Affairs
...and Public Liaison
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for North Asian Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Monitoring and Enforcement
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Africa
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Policy Coordination
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Services, Investment,
...and Intellectual Property
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Trade and Development
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Trade and Labor
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for World Trade Organization (WTO)
...and Multilateral Affairs
Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for the Americas
Press Secretary
Trade Policy Staff Committee
Office of the Vice President of the United States
Assistant to the President, Chief of Staff to the Vice President,
...and Assistant to the Vice President for National Security Affairs
Assistant to the President and Counselor to the Vice President
Counsel to the Vice President
Principal Deputy Assistant to the Vice President
...for National Security Affairs
Deputy Chief of Staff to the Vice President
Assistant to the Vice President for Legislative Affairs
Assistant to the Vice President for Domestic Policy
Executive Director of the National Energy Policy Development Group
Executive Assistant to the Vice President
Deputy Assistant to the Vice President for Operations
Assistant to the Vice President and Chief of Staff to Mrs. Cheney
Deputy Assistant to the Vice President for Scheduling
Director of Correspondence for the Vice President
-----------------------------
Cabinet-level Executive Agencies
Department of Agriculture
Budget: $19.1 billion
Employees: 109,832
The Department of Agriculture awarded $3,624,814,076 in federal contracts in fiscal year 2005. [Source]
Secretary of Agriculture
Deputy Secretary
Under Secretary for Farm and Foreign Agricultural Services
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Farm Service Agency
Administrator, Foreign Agricultural Service
Administrator, Risk Management Agency
Under Secretary for Food, Nutrition, and Consumer Services
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Food and Nutrition Service
Executive Director, Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
Under Secretary for Food Safety
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Food Safety and Inspection Service
Under Secretary for Natural Resources and Environment
Deputy Under Secretary for Forestry
Deputy Under Secretary for Conservation
Chief, Forest Service
Chief, Natural Resources Conservation Service
Under Secretary for Research, Education, and Economics
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Agricultural Research Service
Administrator, Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service
Administrator, Economic Research Service
Administrator, National Agricultural Statistics Service
Under Secretary for Rural Development
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Rural Business-Cooperative Service
Administrator, Rural Housing Service
Administrator, Rural Utilities Service
Assistant Secretary for Congressional Relations
Deputy Assistant Secretary
Under Secretary for Marketing and Regulatory Programs
Deputy Under Secretary
Administrator, Agricultural Marketing Service
Administrator, Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
Administrator, Grain Inspection, Packers, and Stockyards Administration
Assistant Secretary for Administration
Deputy Assistant Secretary
Chairman, Board of Contract Appeals
Judicial Officer
Chief Judge, Administrative Law Judges
Director, Office of Civil Rights
Director, Office of Ethics
Director, Office of Human Resources Management
Director, Office of Operations
Director, Office of Outreach
Director, Office of Procurement and Property Management
Director, Office of Small and Disadvantaged Business Utilization
Chief Information Officer
Deputy Chief Information Officer
Chief Financial Officer
Deputy Chief Financial Officer
General Counsel
Deputy General Counsel
Inspector General
Deputy Inspector General
Director, Office of Communications
Chief Economist
Deputy Chief Economist
Director, Office of Risk Assessment and Cost-Benefit Analysis
Chairman, World Agricultural Outlook Board
Director, Global Change Program Office
Director, Office of Energy Policy and New Uses
Director, National Appeals Division
Director, Office of Budget and Program Analysis
Director, Office of the Executive Secretariat
Director, Sustainable Development and Small Farms
Rural Development
Rural Housing Service
Rural Business-Cooperative Service
Rural Utilities Service
Business Enterprise program
Business Opportunities program
Cooperative Development grants
Cooperative Opportunities and Problems Research
Cooperative Services program
Economic Development loans
Intermediary Relending
Technology Transfer program
Marketing and Regulatory Programs
Agricultural Marketing Service
Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service
Administrator
Civil Rights Enforcement and Compliance Staff
Office of Emergency Management and Homeland Security
Animal Care
Regional Offices (3)
Biotechnology Regulatory Services
Office of the Deputy Administrator
Deputy Administrator
Associate Deputy, Emerging and International Programs
Associate Deputy
Assistant to the Deputy Admin.
Agriculturist
Office of Science
Science Advisor
Biotechnologist
AAAS Risk Policy Fellow
Policy Coordination Programs
Director
Assistant Director
Secretary
Regulatory and Environmental Analysis Branch
Supervisory Policy Analyst
Environment Protection Specialist
Biotechnologist
Bio Scientist/VMO
Regulatory Analysts (2)
International Policy Branch
Lead Agriculturalist
Program Analyst
Communications and Capacity Building Branch
Supervisory Biological Scientist
Agriculturalist
Writer/Editor
Outreach and Communications Specialist
State Liaison
Environmental Risk Analysis Programs
Director
Secretary
Plants Branch
Supervisory Biotechnologist
Biotechnologists (4)
Animals Branch
Supervisory Biotechnologist
Biotechnologists (3)
Biotechnologist, Fish Biology
Plant Pests and Protectants Branch
Supervisory Biotechnologist
Biotechnologists (3)
Regulatory Operations Programs
Director
Program Assistant
Compliance and Inspection Branch
Supervisory Biological Scientist
Field Operations Officer
Western Regional Biotechnologist
Senior Regulatory Specialist
Eastern Regional Biotechnologist
Program Support Assistant
Western Regional Biotechnologist
Senior Regulatory Specialist
Staff Assistant
Support Assistant
Document Management Branch
Supervisory Management Analyst
Management Analyst
Regulatory Permits Specialists (2)
Regulatory Specialist
Permit Assistant
Regulatory Permits Specialist
Regulatory Specialist
Document Control Officer
Resource Management Programs
Supervisory Administrative Officer
Resource Support Services Branch
Program Specialist
Student
Management Analyst
Program Specialist
Technical Services Branch
IT Specialist
Visual Information Assistant
Technical Information Specialist
Program Specialist
International Services
Plant Protection and Quarantine
Deputy Administrator
Associate Deputy Administrator
Assistant to the Deputy Administrator
Professional Development Center
Resource Management Staff
Chief of Staff
Western Region Director
Eastern Region Director
Executive Director, Plant Health Programs
Assistant Deputy Administrator, Emergency and Domestic Programs
Center for Plant Health Science and Technology
Veterinary Services
Deputy Administrator
Secretaries (2)
Chief Information Officer
Special Assistant to the Deputy Administrator
Assistant Deputy Administrator, Planning and Strategy
Management Support Staff Director
Associate Deputy Administrator, Regional Operations
Regional Directors (2)
Associate Deputy Administrator, Emergency Management and Diagnostics
National Center for Animal Health Emergency Management
National Veterinary Services Laboratory
Center for Veterinary Biologics
Associate Deputy Administrator, National Animal Health Policy and Programs
Centers for Epidemiology and Animal Health
Centers for Epidemiology and Animal Health
Center for Veterinary Biologics
Eastern Regional Office
Information Technology Services
Management Support Staff
National Animal Health Policy and Programs
National Center for Animal Health Emergency Management
National Center for Animal Health Programs
Aquaculture, Swine, Equine and Poultry
Ruminant Health Program
Surveillance and Identification Program
National Center for Import and Export
Office International des Epizooties
Sanitary Trade Issues Team
Technical Trade Services Animal Products
Technical Trade Services - Animals, Organisms and Vectors, and Select Agents
National Veterinary Services Laboratories
Professional Development Staff
Western Regional Office
Wildlife Services
Deputy Administrator
Associate Deputy Administrators (2)
Secretaries (2)
National Aviation Safety and Assistance Coordinator
National Wildlife Disease Coordinator
National Rabies Coordinator
Wildlife Initiative
Operational Support Staff
Director
Staff Assistant
Secretary
Technical Support
Staff Officers (6)
Program Analyst
Administrative Support
Deputy Director for Administration
Secretary
Budget Analyst
Administrative Analysts (2)
National Environmental Policy Act
National Environmental Manager
Administrative Support Assistant
Environmental Coordinators (6)
IT Support Center
Director
Program Assistant
Senior Applications Developer
Applications Developers (5)
IT Specialist
Computer Specialists (5)
Eastern Regional Office
Eastern Region State Offices (38)
Western Regional Office
Western Region State Offices (21)
National Wildlife Research Center
Field Stations (10)
Legislative and Public Affairs
Marketing and Regulatory Programs Business Services
Administrative Services Division
Contracting Team
Engineering and Property Services Branch
IT Contracting Branch
NLSC Kansas City Warehouse Team
Procurement, Policy, and Systems Branch
Printing, Distribution and Mail Branch
Property Team
Purchasing Team
Realty Team
Employee Services Division
Conflict Prevention and Resolution Branch
Facility and Conference Services Branch
Ft. Collins Customer Support Services
Raleigh Customer Support Services
Minneapolis Customer Support Services
APHIS Security Branch
Office of the Director
Director
Administrative Functions
Administrative Officer
Special Projects/Program Assistant
Safety, Health, and Employee Wellness Branch
Training and Development Branch
Riverdale Restacking
Workplace Violence
Financial Management Division
Minneapolis Financial Services Branch
Accounting and Payments Team
Debt Management Team
Billings and Collections
Riverdale Financial Services Branch
Financial Systems and Reporting Branch
Financial Systems and Accounting
Budget Execution Support Team
Financial Services Branch
Travel Services Center
User Fees Team
Agreements Services Center
Review and Analysis Branch
Washington Financial Services Branch
Human Resources Division
AMS/GIPSA Employee Relations Branch
APHIS Employee Relations Branch
Enhancement Branch
Employee Misconduct Investigations Branch
Hearing and Appeals Branch
Human Resources Operations (Minneapolis)
Human Resources Operations (Riverdale/Washington)
Labor Management Relations Branch
Office of the Director
Assistant HR Officer
Admin Asst
Assistant HR Officer
Personnel Management Specialist - HQ Program Development
Information Technology Division
Applications and Information Management Branch
Customer Services Branch
Forecasting & Planning Services Branch
Forms, Issuances and Records Management
Technology Resources Management Branch
Investigative and Enforcement Services
Regional Offices (3)
Enforcement Services
Information Services
Investigative Services
Policy and Program Department
Deputy Administrator
Budget and Program Analysis
Environmental Services
Policy Analysis and Development
Planning, Evaluation and Monitoring
Business Practices Team
Regulatory Analysis and Development
Risk Analysis Systems
Grain Inspection, Packers, and Stockyards Administration
Administrator
Executive Resources Staff
Civil Rights Staff
Information Technology Staff
Public and Congressional Relations Staff
Deputy Administrator for Federal Grain Inspection Service
Office of International Affairs
Compliance Division
Field Management Division
Technical Services Division
Deputy Administrator for Packers and Stockyards Program
Regional Operations Division
Industry Analysis Division
Policy and Litigation Division
Food Safety
Food Safety and Inspection Service
Food, Nutrition, and Consumer Services
Food and Nutrition Service
Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
Farm and Foreign Agricultural Services
Farm Service Agency
Administrator
Associate Administrator for Programs
Associate Administrator for Operations & Management
Deputy Administrator for Farm Programs
Production, Emergencies, and Compliance Division
Price Support Division
Conservation and Environmental Programs Division
Tobacco Division
Aerial Photography Field Office
Deputy Administrator for Farm Loan Programs
Program Development and Economic Enhancement Division
Loan Making Division
Loan Servicing and Property Management Division
Deputy Administrator for Field Operations
Field Operations Staff
State Offices (51)
County Offices (2400)
Deputy Administrator for Commodity Operations
Commodity Procurement Policy and Analysis Division
Warehouse and Inventory Division
Kansas City Commodity Office
Deputy Administrator for Management
Management Services Division
Budget Division
Kansas City Administrative Office
Human Resources Division
Information Technology Services Division
Financial Management Division
Office of Civil Rights
Office of External Affairs
Office of Business and Program Integration
Commodity Credit Corporation
Risk Management Agency
Foreign Agricultural Service
Administrator
Associate Administrator
General Sales Manager
Deputy Administrator for Commodity and Marketing Programs
Deputy Administrator for International Cooperation and Development Programs
Deputy Administrator for International Trade Policy
Overseas Offices (102)
Research, Education, and Economics
Agricultural Research Service
Area Offices (9)
Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service
Economic Research Service
Office of the Administrator
Administrator
Associate Administrators (2)
Civil Rights Director
Central Operations Staff Director
Food and Rural Economics Division
Director
Associate Director
Deputy Director for Research and Product Coordinator
Deputy Director for Staff Analysis and Communication
Deputy Director for Food Assistance Research
Diet, Safety, and Health Economics Branch Chief
Food Assistance Branch Chief
Rural Economy Branch Chief
Food Markets Branch Chief
Branches
Diet, Safety, and Health Economics
Food Assistance and Nutrition Research Program
Food Assistance
Food Markets
Rural Economy
Information Services Division
Director
Deputy Director for Communications
Associate Director
Applications Development Branch Chief
Information Technology Services Branch Chief
Publishing and Communications Branch Chief
Branches
Application Development
Information Technology Services
Publishing and Communications
Communications Staff
Market and Trade Economics Division
Director
Deputy Director for Research and Program Management
Deputy Director for International Programs and Policy Analysis
Deputy Director for Market Analysis and Outlook
Global Agricultural Markets Branch Chief
Assistant Director for Communications
Animal Products Branch Chief
Asia/Western Hemisphere Branch Chief
Europe/Africa/Middle East Branch Chief
Field Crops Branch Chief
Specialty Crops Branch Chief
Branches
Animal Products
Asia/Western Hemisphere
Europe/Africa/Middle East
Field Crops
Global Agricultural Markets
Specialty Crops
Resource Economics Division
Director
Associate Director
Deputy Directors (2)
Data and Survey Coordinator
Agricultural Structure and Productivity Branch Chief
Farm Household Well-Being Branch Chief
Farm Sector Performance Branch Chief
Production Economics and Technology Branch Chief
Resource, Environmental and Science Policy Branch Chief
Branches
Agricultural Structure
Farm Sector Performance and Well-Being
Production Management and Technology
Resource and Environmental Policy
Resources, Technology, and Productivity
Staff (439)
National Agricultural Statistics Service
Administrator
International Programs Office
Civil Rights Director
eGov Program Manager
Standards Officer
Security Officer
Deputy Administrator for Field Operations
Associate Deputy Administrator, Budget Administration
Budget Administration Services Office
Field Offices (21)
Associate Deputy Administrator, Training and Career Development
Training and Career Development Office
Field Offices (24)
Human Resource Services Office
Deputy Administrator for Programs and Products and ...
Chair of the Agricultural Statistics Board
Marketing and Information Services Office
Census and Survey Division
Information Technology Division
Computer Security Technical Leader
Computer Security Policy Officer
Research and Development Division
Statistics Division
Natural Resources and Environment
Forest Service
Field Offices
Regional Forester (10)
Research Stations
Forest Products Laboratory
North Central
Northeastern
Pacific Northwest
Pacific Southwest
Rocky Mountain
Southern
State and Private Forestry Areas
Northeastern
International Institute of Tropical Forestry
Natural Resources Conservation Service
Headquarters Leadership
Chief
Associate Chief
Regional Assistant Chiefs
Deputy Chief for Management
Deputy Chief for Programs
Deputy Chief for Science and Technology
Deputy Chief for Soil Survey and Resource Assessment
Deputy Chief for Strategic Planning and Accountability
State Offices (52)
Local Service Centers (61)
National Centers
Information Technology Center
National Employee Development Center
National Business Management Center
National Cartography and Geospatial Center
National Design, Construction and Soil Mechanics Center
National Geospatial Development Center
National Plant Data Center
National Soil Survey Center
National Technology Support Centers
National Water and Climate Center
National Water Management Center
Agro Forestry Cooperating Scientists
Air Quality Cooperating Scientists
Grazing Land Technology Institute
Natural Resources Inventory and Analysis Institute
Social Sciences Institute
Soil Quality Institute
Watershed Science Institute
Wetland Science Institute
Wildlife Habitat Management Institute
Graduate School, U.S. Department of Agriculture
Director
Deputy Director
Associate Director
National Agricultural Library
Director's Office
Director
Deputy Director
Special Assistant
Public Affairs Specialist
Tours and Exhibits
Administrative Officer
Facilities Manager
AgNIC Secretariat
Civil Rights Manager
Associate Director for Information Systems
Information Technology Branch
Head
Current Awareness Literature Service
ISIS Coordinator
OCLC Coordinator
Webmaster
End-User Support
End-User Support
Systems Administration and Networking (3 positions)
Associate Director for Public Services
Document Delivery Services Branch
Head
Access Services Librarians (2)
Contracts Librarian
Interlibrary Loan/Borrowing
Loan Renewals
ILL Billing - NTIS
Document Delivery
Special Collections Program
Head, Special Collections Program
Collections Management Librarian
Information Research Services Branch
Head
Alternative Farming Systems Information Center
Animal Welfare Information Center
Food and Nutrition Information Center
Food Safety Information Center
Rural Information Center
Technology Transfer Information Center
Water Quality Information Center
Electronic Information Services Center
Research & Reader Services
Associate Director for Technical Services
Thesaurus Specialist
Acquisitions & Serials Branch
Head
Gift and Exchange
GPO Depository
Monographs and Selection
Serials
Cataloging Branch Head
Head, Serials Section & CONSER
Head, Support Staff Section
AGRICOLA Database
Searching - Service Desk
D.C. Reference Center
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now I know that we can do without at least some of these....and thats only the executive branch and the dept of agriculture....
there are many more departments and all of them have the same endless list of agencies....
I think I should compile a list of things more stupid than the drinking joke Zanny posted, that congress voted moeny for...
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Please do. That should keep you busy for the next few years.
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